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The rain hadn't stopped for days and Gale was beginning to wonder
if it ever would. It poured onto rooftops, rushed through gutters,
and emptied noisily into flooded Toronto streets. The constant hiss
of it made him feel itchy and insane. He wanted to leave the house
without being pelted by the cold, Canadian rain. He wanted to open
his eyes onto a view of something more blue than the dark, cloud-covered
sky. He craved complete and utter silence if only for just a few
minutes. Yes, silence--empty and waiting for something to fill it--not
this overbearing weight of sound that blanketed the city.
The slosh and sizzle of the car's tires over the wet steets, through
the puddles and thick rivulets, over veritable streams, underlay
the chuck-chuck of the windshield wipers and the smack of the rain
on the roof and windshield. Gale squinted into the darkness ahead
of him, the streetlamps fuzzy and glowing in the wet air like impressionistic
oil paintings, and he wondered again where it was that he was going,
and why. He'd been at home, warm and dry, when he'd gotten the call
from Randy.
Gale, could you come over?
Sure, he supposed. It was better than hanging out at home listening
to the rain, going slowly insane, missing things he'd never had
and people he'd never known, like some morbid fucking son-of-a-bitch
with no one and nothing on his side. But he'd just said, "Yeah,
I guess so." And left it at that.
The red stop sign on the corner was barely visible in the downpour,
but Gale knew it was there, and he slowed to a stop, closing his
eyes for a moment and running his thumb over the tattoo on his middle
finger.
Simon's in New York. I guess I'm lonely.
"Yeah, we all get lonely." That's what he'd wanted to say, but he'd
just put on his tennis shoes, and grabbed his coat, muttering, "Yeah,
sure. I'll be over."
You don't mind? It's raining pretty hard.
"I don't mind."
He didn't mind. And that was why he was turning left, blinking at
the nearly vacant streets, and parking across the street from Randy's
place. That was why he was running through puddles, soaking his
pants, feeling icy-cold rain pelt his face, and hopelessly brushing
water from his eyes as he pressed the ringer to be buzzed inside.
Because he didn't mind.
Gale was cold, shivering, and soaked through, and he sighed gratefully
when Randy opened the door to his apartment holding a warm towel
straight from the dryer.
"I thought you might need this," Randy said, helping to rub it over
Gale's bent head. "I can't believe you came out in this weather."
"Then why did you call?" Gale asked, reasonably. Randy's eyes darted
away, and Gale ducked his head to try to catch them again.
"I was hoping, but I didn't think you really would." Randy stepped
back, and pulled Gale inside. "Come on, I've got a fire going, and
some sweats for you to put on."
The apartment was warm and cozy with plush furniture, books on every
surface, and half-folded laundry on the sofa. There was music on
the stereo--a woman with a haunted voice singing something about
love, and the television was on next to the fireplace. A black and
white movie playing on mute.
There by the sofa, Gale peeled out of his jacket and shirt, pushed
down his jeans and underwear, and handed his clothes over to Randy.
Randy didn't look at him twice, taking his clothes to shove in the
dryer, and indicating with a wave of his hand that Gale should put
on the sweats that were folded on top of the pile on the couch.
And that amused Gale and made him feel oddly at home. More at home
than he'd felt back at his place listening to the endless rush of
rain.
Rain. Funny, since he'd stepped into Randy's apartment the rain
seemed more comforting than suffocating.
The sweat pants and t-shirt were soft and also fresh from the dryer.
Gale sat down on the sofa, and pulled a t-shirt from the pile of
unfolded clothes, and tucked the sleeves, then doubled it over,
placing it on top of the other folded t-shirts.
"You don't have to do that," Randy said, coming back into the room
from the kitchen.
Gale took the glass of wine that Randy held out to him. "I know,
but I don't mind."
Randy cocked his head a little, and sat down on the other side of
the sofa, the folded clothes between them. "You don't mind," he
repeated, slowly.
"No. I don't mind."
And they folded the clothes together, listening to the music, and
sipping the wine, talking a little, and listening to the rain.
"Nice drawers," Gale commented, holding up a pair of The Grinch
Who Stole Christmas undies.
Randy snorted. "Those are Simon's."
"Sexy."
"Mmhmm," Randy murmured.
The lights fire and the television flickered over the room, and
the mellow buzz from the wine settled into Gale's limbs, making
him move more slowly, concentrating on lining the seams of the shirts
up as he folded, creasing the legs of the pants just so.
"Do you think it'll ever stop raining?" Randy asked, getting up
to adjust the blinds, and stopping to peer out into night.
"Probably not."
"Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too."
And he sat back down next to Gale, shoving aside the clothes they'd
just folded, knocking the pile onto the floor. Gale closed his eyes
and waited--listened to the rain, the wet, endless rain--and he
felt that feeling again. The itch inside that didn't go away,
like he couldn't breathe, like he couldn't escape, like he was trapped,
and burdened by something heavier than he could bear. Like he was
going to die if Randy didn't kiss him this time, like last time,
like the time before that.
He felt flushed with wine and the heat from the fireplace. His cheeks
burned, and his eyelids felt overly hot. He kept them closed and
waited. And waited.
"I want you," Randy said, shifting over Gale's lap, straddling him,
and putting his hands on Gale's shoulders. Gale let his head fall
back on the sofa, struggling to breath against the constriction
in his chest, the fire that was burning in his groin, and flooding
his body. Randy's lips, wet and hot, moved against his neck. "I
want you."
"Randy--" And that's all he could say. Just that name that
tormented him. The name that meant things he couldn't have, wasn't
supposed to want, and sure as hell wasn't supposed to do. The name
of the man who held him down on the sofa, grabbed his chin, and
forced him to look into his eyes before kissing him.
Oh God. Randy. Gale quivered as Randy's tongue brushed his
own, and he surrendered to the kiss. Gentle licks, sucking and wet,
tingling brushes against the roof of his mouth, and mouthfuls of
soft lips. God. It wasn't like he hadn't known when the call came,
but he never knew, and some part of him always wondered if
it would be this time that he'd resist.
They rocked together, mouths devouring, hands roaming, and it wasn't
long before Gale had Randy's cock in his hand, stroking it in rhythm
with their kiss. Randy's hands clenched Gale's still damp hair,
and muttered against Gale's lips, "Fuck, you make me crazy." One
hand on Randy's thigh, the other busy with his cock, Gale groaned
into Randy's mouth, grinding his hips into Randy's ass for friction.
No, no--it was Randy who made him crazy. It was Randy who
made him drive into a flood to jerk him off on his couch. It was
Randy who made him ignore the photograph of Simon on the mantle,
and the Grinch underwear now somewhere on the floor, and the ring
that flashed on Randy's finger. It was Randy who made that feeling
well up within him, the crazy, needy, desperate, must-have-or-die
feeling that made him betray himself in so many ways.
Gale kissed Randy's neck, slid his mouth down to his collar bone,
and nibbled there. He shoved Randy's shirt up, and ran his hand
over Randy's panting stomach, jerking him harder as he rubbed his
palm over the soft skin of Randy's back. He knew that Randy was
close from the way he swiveled his hips against Gale's hand, moaning,
and biting Gale's neck a little harder than before.
"Oh, fuck, Gale--"
He held on as Randy shook, and he felt the hot splash of come on
his fist. He rubbed Randy's shuddering back, and kissed the delicate
skin where neck met shoulder. He was still hard and aching, but
he forced himself to stop thrusting against Randy's ass, taking
deep breaths to calm down. He listened for it, and it was still
there: the rain hurtling down from above, pounding against surfaces,
shattering like desperate men throwing themselves from the sky.
Randy lifted Gale's hand, and Gale sucked in a breath as Randy licked
his own come from Gale's fingers. His passion-dark eyes searched
Gale's and after only a few moment's he smoothed sweat-damp fingers
over Gale's brow. "Don't think, Gale."
Don't think? But he'd thought. "I should go." He didn't move. "I
should...go."
Randy shook his head slowly.
Gale tried to meet Randy's gaze, tried to say the words again, with
more force, more conviction, with some action to back it up, but
the intensity of Randy's expression was too much, and he looked
away. He closed his eyes, licked his lips, and waited, his heart
pounding in his ears, his cock throbbing against his sweats.
"Stay." A single word against his ear, hot and damp, and full of
desire, so much desire that made him shudder.
"Simon--"
"Is gone."
"Kim--"
"Isn't here."
"I--"
"Want me."
"Please--"
"Yes," Randy whispered. "Yes."
It had been a last ditch effort to bring them up. Kim--fuck, she'd
been out of his life for months. And Simon--well, he'd never been
enough to stop them before. But it had been the interrupted "I"
that had been his hopeless attempt to stop this before it went further.
If Randy had listened he would have heard, "I don't know where this
is going. I don't know how to stop this. I'm losing myself. I'm
terrified."
Maybe he heard it anyway.
Randy's mouth tasted like come when they kissed again. Shirts came
off, and Randy's jeans joined the clothes now scattered on the floor.
Gale's sweats ended up shoved down around his knees when Randy couldn't
seem to keep his mouth away from Gale's cock long enough to get
them the rest of the way down. Gale bit his cheek, and fought for
control of his emotions, as Randy sucked the head of his cock gently,
tonguing the slit, and twirling around the head. He let his head
fall back, and clenched his hands in Randy's hair when Randy took
him deep, and he grunted with half-sobs as he drew closer and closer
to coming.
"Oh. Oh, God," he whispered, a prayer of awe laced with terror.
He bit his cheek again, blaming the pain for the tears in his eyes
when the coil of pleasure in his gut gripped his body and spun him
into shuddering orgasm. He groaned as he shot into Randy's mouth,
his legs twitching and jerking with every spurt.
Randy's wet mouth suckled him as he came down, and he twined his
fingers through Randy's hair to pull him up for another kiss. It
was this that scared him the most--tenderness between them that
made him start to imagine more. He knew that it was never just sex
and he wished to God that it was.
A torrent of rain slammed against the window, rattling the panes.
Gale jerked, tearing his mouth away from the Randy's lips.
"It's just the rain," Randy whispered. "Don't worry so much. Relax."
Randy's gentle fingers were rubbing him now, massaging his shoulders,
and running up and down his neck as Randy kissed him again. Gale
settled back and let Randy pull him down until they were both laying
lengthwise on the couch, Randy on top of him, and Gale toed the
sweats the rest of the way down his legs, and kicked them off; they
flew somewhere on the other side of the coffee table. Gale ran his
fingers through Randy's hair, and felt the soft puffs of Randy's
breath on his chest, each one rushing damply over his nipple, making
it rise in anticipation.
Randy didn't take long to accept his nipple's invitation, taking
it between his lips, and worrying it with his teeth. Gale threw
his head back, and arched into the sensation. He whimpered when
Randy released it and moved on to press kisses to his chest.
"Christ, Gale, you're so fucking beautiful," Randy said,
running his hands over Gale's abdomen, and down to his cock which
was waking up already, then back up again. "How could I resist this?"
he asked, his voice playful and soft.
Resist. Gale swallowed hard and tried, really tried, but he gave
up when Randy pushed his legs apart, settled between them, and lifted
Gale's calves onto his shoulders. Gale braced himself, clenching
his hands into fists, and tightening his thighs, but nothing ever
prepared him for the hot, wet violation of Randy's tongue on his
asshole. He yelled out in shock. He shook his head back and forth,
trying to get a grip, but it was like this every time. Every fucking
time. And he just lost it. Always lost it when it came to Randy
eating his ass. Lost it.
He was crooning and thrashing, and part of him was aware that Randy
was almost laughing as he grasped Gale's hips hard and continued
to rim him, but he couldn't stop feeling. "I'm going to come,"
he yelled, and Randy did laugh then, a hot puff air against his
ass, and Gale shuddered and shook--but didn't come. Christ, it was
too much.
Randy moved away, leaving Gale's ass wet and suddenly chilled in
the air. "Hold on. Don't go anywhere," Randy muttered, leaning over
and shuffling through the drawer in the coffee table. "Fuck, I know
I've got stuff in here."
Gale panted and shivered, realizing suddenly that he was covered
in sweat, and that his cock was flexing with every beat of his heart.
He was so fucking hard again that he couldn't fucking breathe,
or maybe that was because he was still hyperventilating from the
rim-job. Randy sat back and Gale heard the tear of cellophane, and
he tensed again.
Randy shoved Gale's legs up until Gale thought his knees were going
to touch his ears. Gale took a deep breath. He had to say something.
And it was now or never. Now or never. Now or--
"Relax," Randy said, the thick head of his cock shoving against
Gale's asshole. "Gale, relax. Think about the rain. Listen to the
rain."
Gale took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and listened. It was
there. The rain: fast, furious, constant, thick, slow, inexorable,
stretching, burning, tight. Oh fuck. Gale gulped in air.
He'd fucking forgotten how much it hurt.
"Oh, my God, Gale. Oh my God," Randy said, reverently.
Randy's dick slid into him like honey, thick and slow. He shuddered,
and Randy ran strong hands over Gale's thighs. "S'okay, Gale. Christ,
though. You're tight." Randy's voice sounded tense, and Gale took
in another shaky breath, trying to calm down. His thighs trembled,
and his knees were nearly knocking against Randy's ears when Randy
brought them up to his shoulders.
Randy reached up and ran a hand over Gale's cheek and brushed the
sweaty hair off his forehead. "Calm down. Shhh. It's okay. I've
got you."
Gale closed his eyes and took deep, deep, deep breaths--each one
brought Randy into him further. When he opened his eyes, he saw
Randy's face above his, but just out of reach. He wanted to kiss
him, wanted to pull him down and suck his lips, but the angle wouldn't
give, and he just wasn't that flexible. Oh God--it said so much.
Randy rolled his hips, and Gale gasped, his feet flexing and his
ass clenching Randy's dick.
It amazed him how quickly the pain turned to pleasure and how fast
he went from barely being able to contain Randy to feeling like
he wasn't going to survive when Randy pulled out. He gave himself
over to it, over to the thrumming of the rain, and the rolling thrusts
of Randy's hips. He gave himself over to the chill-bump inducing
pleasure of a hard cock pummeling his ass, and he gave up the fight
for control of his emotions, feeling the well of his heart overflow,
and the tightening of his throat that heralded one of his worst
fears.
Randy's fingers wiped at Gale's tears even as he fucked him harder.
"I know. I know it's hard," Randy said, gently. "I know."
Gale groaned as Randy started to jerk him off with a hand still
wet with Gale's tears. Randy didn't know. He couldn't know. And
Gale wanted to shout that at him. Wanted to say, "Fuck you, you'll
never know. You'll never know anything." But he kept his
mouth shut, breathing through his nose, and biting his cheek again,
his balls burning with the need to come. Because Randy knew too
much, even if he'd never know what it was like to want this,
need this, and be unable to fucking take it, have it, keep it.
Frantic to come, Gale grasped Randy's hand and forced him to a faster
pace. He bucked and arched, taking Randy's cock deeper, and ramming
his own dick into the clench of their hands. He twisted and pushed
up, forcing himself to a position that pulled at his hamstrings,
but let him barely reach Randy's mouth, and he kissed him when he
came, yelling against Randy's lips. Hot come splashed between them,
and he felt his ass grab at Randy's still thrusting dick.
"Fuck," Randy muttered, throwing his head back, and shaking. Gale
collapsed, closed his eyes, and felt the throbbing of Randy's cock
in his ass. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," Randy chanted, his hands
clenching Gale's thighs too hard and hurting him.
Gale said nothing, his cock still twitching, and already dreading
Randy's withdrawal. Why did it have to be so fucking short-lived?
Why couldn't it go on and on? He closed his eyes and listened to
Randy's panting breaths, and underneath them he could still hear
the rain.
It wasn't dawn when Gale got up from the mess of clothes and condoms
that was Randy's couch. Randy snored softly, not waking when Gale
slipped out from under him. He stood for a minute and watched him
breath. No, no--it was Randy who was so fucking beautiful.
Gale pulled on the sweats from the night before, found his jacket,
and left. The rain was coming down hard as he pulled his truck away
from the curb. His ass hurt, and he felt bruised inside somehow.
In his soul. He drove toward the place where he had a bed he called
his own under dark and heavy clouds. He wanted to look into something
more blue. Like Randy's eyes. But there was only this, the constant,
endless rain that made him feel itchy inside, and rather insane.
That made him want more.
The windshield wipers waved frantically at him like he was making
some kind of mistake. And the rain came down even harder. He didn't
think it was ever going to stop.
THE END
Inspired by Inside
My House by Jennifer Niceley.

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