Gus sat on one of the high stools at the bar in the kitchen watching Justin crack eggs into a bowl.

"Can I break one, Justin?" He put on his best face, the one his mommy called his 'hound dog' look. "Pretty please?"

Justin pursed his lips thoughfully, but in the teasing way that let Gus know he'd already won and he'd get his way just as soon as Justin got serious.

"I won't get any shells in it. Promise."

Justin shrugged. "It's no big deal if you do, Gus. We'll just scoop them out."

"Mommy says that egg shells aren't good for your stomach."

"I'm sure your mommy knows what she's talking about."

"She does. She knows everything."

Justin tweaked his nose. "I bet she does. Your mommies know lots of things."

Gus shook his head. "No, only one mommy knows everything. Mommy said she's a know-it-all."

"Lindsay said Mel was a know-it-all? In front of you?"

Gus nodded solemnly. "It's true. Did you know?"

Justin seemed to be fighting off a cough, but he finally replied, "Yes. I'd heard that before."

"So can I break one, Justin? Please?"

Justin patted the counter top. "Okay, climb up here."

Gus carefully climbed on the counter top, sat on his butt and then scooted toward the bowl. "I'm five now. I can stand on the counter and dance if I want to, you know. I'm big."

"You're very big. I remember when you were so little that your dad could hold you between his elbow and his fingertips."

Gus rolled his eyes. "Please. I was never that small."

Justin handed an egg to him. "Be careful now, don't break it in your hand. Tap it lightly and--" Justin took his hand and held it by the bowl.

"I want to do it. Let me do it by myself."

"I'll let you do the next one by yourself. I just want to show you this time, okay?"

Gus frowned. "I'm big enough."

"I know. You're huge. You can dance on the counter tops and do cartwheels and ride your bike without training wheels. But, you can't break an egg into this bowl until I show you how, first, okay?"

"Why?"

Justin's lips twisted up funny and Gus thought he might be laughing at him, but he wasn't sure.

"Because I said so, isn't going to fly, is it?"

Gus shook his head and rubbed his fingers against the cool, smooth eggshell. "Nope."

"Okay, break it by yourself. Just--gentle."

Gus tapped the egg on the bowl and nothing happened. He looked at it carefully but didn't see any cracks. Frowning, he raised his hand higher, but Justin grabbed it and said, "Not that hard!"

Gus waited until Justin released his hand and then brought the egg down harder. It broke and he ended up with a handful of sticky, cold egg.

"Ah well, good try, Gus." Justin said, picking him up off the counter and hauling him over to the sink. "Christ, you're heavy."

"Daddy says that Christ was gay, too. Is that true, Justin?" Gus asked as Justin washed the egg from his hand.

Justin snorted. "I doubt it, Gus. But who knows? Your daddy is just teasing you."

"Daddy said to ask Grandma Kinney about Jesus having sex with the apostles."

"Oh. Uh, no. Don't do that, okay?"

"Why?"

Justin closed his eyes and bit his lip. "Do you know what sex is, Gus?"

"It's like a really big meal."

Justin nodded with a very serious expression. "I see. Who told you that?"

"Well, Grandma says that Christ had a big, special meal with his apostles. Daddy said Christ had sex with the apostles--so, sex is the big special meal."

Justin was coughing up a storm and Gus reached out to pat his back. Justin had on just a pair of pajama pants and his skin was soft under Gus' hand. He liked Justin's skin. It was pretty like Mommy's.

"Brian!" Justin called. "Brian get out of bed, and come out here, now!"

Gus put his finger to his lips. "Shh! Daddy wants to sleep in."

"Daddy needs to come clean up the mess he's made!" Justin yelled over his shoulder. "Get out of bed!"

Gus looked around but didn't see any mess except the one he'd made with the egg.

Daddy appeared in the door leading up to his and Justin's bed. He looked a little tired; he had on a white, sleeveless t-shirt, and pajama pants. He grinned tightly at Justin. "What's the problem?"

"Your son was telling me that you suggested he ask your mother if Christ had sex with his disciples."

Daddy's expression lit up. "Did you do it, Sonny Boy? What did she say?"

Justin rolled his eyes, lifted Gus off of the counter and down to the floor. "Why are you doing this to him? Tell him not to ask her that."

Daddy straddled a stool and watched as Gus climbed on to the one next to him. "Gus? Sonny Boy?"

"Yes, Daddy?"

"Don't listen to what Justin says, okay? Next time you see Grandma Kinney ask her about Jesus and the sex, all right?"

"Brian!"

"Justin, shush. Daddy's talking."

"Don't shush Justin. It's rude," Daddy scolded.

"Oh, and it's not rude to have him ask your mother about Jesus and sex?" Justin rolled his eyes.

"What's the big deal, Justin?" Gus asked. "Everyone knows that Jesus ate that special meal with them. The sex meal."

Daddy's eyebrows crinkled. "The what meal?"

"The sex meal. The Last Supper."

Daddy met Justin's eyes and he began to laugh, that funny laugh that Mommy calls a demented cackle.

"Brian--" Justin started. Daddy stood up and picked Gus up, swinging him high into the air. Gus thought about complaining that he was too old for this, but he liked the feel of the air rushing by as Daddy swung him higher.

"You're big, Sonny Boy. Heavy."

"Brian--" Justin tried again. Daddy ignored him.

"Why don't you ask Mommy about the sex meal when you get home, okay? She'll be really happy to explain it to you."

Justin snorted and went back to the bowl, fishing eggshell shards out with a spoon. Daddy put Gus back on the stool and went to the fridge for some of his juice. He kissed Justin on the lips and smacked his butt saying, "What a good little housewife you turned out to be."

Justin didn't say anything, and kept mixing the ingredients for the pancakes. Daddy leaned back against the counter, picked up his package of cigarettes and a box of matches. Justin gave him a look and he put the cigarettes back down, but kept playing with the box of matches, taking one out and chewing on the wooden end.

Gus watched and thought. He remembered when he was little and he'd been confused about a lot more stuff than he was confused about now. For example, he used to not understand why his daddies and his mommies didn't live together. And why he had two mommies, but one daddy and one Justin. And then his little sister had a daddy, but he was Gus' Uncle Michael. But now he understood that Daddy was his daddy, Michael was his sister's daddy and Justin was Daddy's lover. And that meant--

"Justin?"

"Yes?" Justin measured a cupful of flour and poured it into his bowl.

"You're Daddy's lover, right?"

Justin looked up, his eyebrows lowered. "Um, yeah. Why?"

"Do you love Daddy?"

Justin looked at Daddy standing by the counter and for a second Gus thought he wasn't going to answer. Then he smiled and said, "Yeah. Yeah, Gus, I do. I love your daddy."

"That's good."

"Well, I think so," Justin said, stirring up the ingredients.

Gus thought about Justin's answer and looked over at his dad. He'd never actually heard his dad say it, though. So maybe his daddy didn't.

"So, Daddy? Does that mean you love Justin?"

Daddy froze.

Justin froze.

Daddy seemed to stop breathing and Justin was very pale. Gus had just started to get scared when Daddy, pulled the match out of his mouth, cleared his throat and said, "That's what most people would think, Gus."

Gus frowned and looked at Justin who seemed like he wasn't listening now, stirring the pancake batter and concentrating on reading over the directions again.

"But what do you think, Daddy? Do you love Justin?"

"Well, that's a very difficult thing to answer."

"Why?"

"Gus, that's--"

Justin put the stirring spoon down beside the bowl with a loud clatter and walked out of the kitchen toward their bedroom. Justin's back was very straight and he didn't look over his shoulder.

Gus knew he'd said something wrong and his eyes filled with tears, but he didn't know why. "Is Justin mad at me, Daddy?"

Daddy's face was like Mommy's when she'd said something mean to Mommy. Guilty. "No, Gus. He's not mad at you."

"Then why'd he leave? Is he going to the bathroom? Is he going to make the pancakes?"

Daddy walked over to the stairs up to their room and looked inside, then turned around slowly. He sat down next to Gus at the counter and drank his juice. Gus sat in silence, fighting back tears.

He hadn't known that it as a bad thing to ask. He didn't know why it was bad, but Justin was angry and Daddy was too quiet.

"I should have left him by that streetlight, Gus."

"Who?" Gus asked.

Daddy shook his head and then patted Gus' hair. "No one."

Daddy stood then, and picked Gus up. He was taller than Justin, stronger, and he didn't struggle under Gus' weight. He put his finger over his lips and carried Gus toward the bedroom.

Gus could see that Justin was on the bed, face down, a pillow over his head. He was very still, but every once in awhile, he took a deep shuddering breath.

Daddy put Gus on the bed and then climbed on next to him. Justin didn't move, but seemed to stop breathing altogether. Daddy put his hand on Justin's back and then reached over to pull Gus close, too.

"Gus, you asked me if I love Justin and I didn't give you a clear answer."

"I'm sorry, Daddy. Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad." Daddy patted Justin's back. "Roll over for a minute."

"I can't." Justin's voice was scratchy.

"It's not like I haven't seen you cry before. Roll over."

Justin just lay there a minute, but he finally did what Daddy said. His eyes and nose were all red and puffy. "What?"

"Gus, I want you to listen carefully and if anyone ever asks, I want you to tell them exactly what I said here, okay?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Justin--" Daddy hesitated and waited until Justin looked him in the eye. "Of course I fucking love you. Now, get up and make my kid his pancakes." He leaned over and kissed Justin's mouth, kind of for a long time, but not really. Then he slapped Justin's leg and stood up. "C'mon Gus, let's shower and get ready. Justin will make the pancakes, okay?"

Gus looked at Justin. His eyes were still red, and his face was still flushed, but he looked kind of glowy. "Will you, Justin?"

Justin nodded and heaved up off of the bed, heading out to the kitchen.

"Okay, into the shower with you." Daddy picked Gus up and carried him into the bathroom, tickling him to make him laugh.

After the shower and a new change of clothes, Justin served the pancakes and agreed to let Gus help him shave later. Daddy was kind of quiet, so Gus felt like he should do the talking. And he did, telling them about his school and his teacher, about the little girl with the blonde hair who had skin like Mommy's and Justin's.

Later when Gus went to find his shoes, he hid behind the shutters in the bedroom, to watch Daddy kiss Justin in the kitchen. They kissed for a really, really long time--with their mouths open.

Gus smiled and bent to tie his shoes.

THE END