"Hey Lex, I'm not sure of anything anymore."

No. That wasn't what he needed to say. Because Lex was always sure.

The skies reflected blue and stronger than he felt inside. This weak-kneed, emotional mess couldn't be him, because that wasn't what he did, it wasn't who he was. But again, he's not sure of anything and so maybe he'd been wrong.

The cherry blossoms on the trees could be anything really. They could be memories of his childhood or they could be the whole love thing wrapped up in a bunch of pink -- and destined to fade in a week or so.

The earth under his ass felt cool; it hadn't had time to soak up the warmth of the sun. Spring was still too new.

And that was the truth. This was all still too new. Bright and shiny like the coins he'd get from the bank as a kid. Fresh from the mint.

It's not even amusing that the scent of early mint spiced the air as he crumpled it between his fingers. Anticipation burned in his belly because really the whole future hung on this conversation.

Clark breathed deep and tried hard for an opening line but his thoughts mirrored the clouds in the sky, eternally shifting and changing shape.

Snapping twigs and the fine squish of fresh grass under feet heralded the approach of a man who should know better than to meet Clark in the middle of field wearing his business suit. But of course he had anyway.

Lex -- buttoned and smooth.

Really not suited for Kansas fields in spring...or anytime for that matter. Not suited for all this Americana that Clark grew up in.

Still -- four years went a long way toward seeping into anyone's soul.

"Clark."

Just that simple word had Clark shaking. This was going to be harder than he'd thought. He plucked a few pieces of new grass and twiddled them between his thumb and forefinger.

Lex dropped to the ground beside him and watched the spinning green stems whip in Clark's hand.

"Sorry I'm late." Lex indicated his clothing. "Obviously, I didn't make any detours before coming over."

Clark nodded; silence engulfed him like the lump that closed his throat right before tears came.

Lex continued, filling the space between them with words, "Six months. Is that what this is about?"

Clark shrugged. "You know, Lex, my dad once said that if you've been with someone..." Clark trailed off, his voice not steady and about to betray him.

Lex reached over and placed his hand over Clark's, stopping the twirling green stems. Clark raised his eyes slowly and returned Lex's gaze.

"Yes, Clark?"

The greening field swept away from them both, rolling on and on, eventually turning into mountains and desert and ocean -- and continuing no matter what happened here, no matter what was said.

"Well, you sort of become a part of them, don't you?"

He hadn't really meant it to be a question, but Lex's smile said that it was okay.

Lex held his eyes. "I'd say that started a long time before we ever rolled around in this field."

Clark nodded. "Way before."

Lex scooted over, closing the small amount of distance. Clark looked at their thighs pressed together, denim and wool. Pinstripes and pen marks.

"I was telling the truth this winter when I told you about me, Lex."

"I know."

"My future isn't going to be simple or easy."

"And you think mine will be?" Lex chuckled.

"No. Never. Nothing with you is ever easy."

Lex's mouth tasted sweet and minty, fresh and green -- always new. Even in its familiarity. Lex whispered against his lips, "This has always been easy."

Clark pulled away, but lifted his hand to the smooth curve of Lex's head, holding him mere inches from his face.

This was it. Either a fresh beginning for them or the end because Clark didn't know if his future was still his own.

"I need to know if it is enough, if we are enough and if you're willing to go all the way with this."

Lex didn't even blink. "I think that's your call."

Clark sighed. "I'm in so deep I think I'm swimming."

Lex's smile slashed into him, verdant and vibrant. "Bought and owned."

"You?"

"Me."

Clark dropped his hand, releasing Lex's head. "Wow, I didn't think I could afford you."

"Apparently, I was discounted because I was somewhat used."

Clark grinned and jostled him with his shoulder. "Way used."

Lex laughed. "Okay. 'Way used'."

Wool against denim and crisp cotton shirt against the last of winter's flannel. Cool, green grass against Clark's back and Lex's coat came off with a few shrugs and tugs.

Clark pulled Lex down on top of him and tucked Lex's head to feel the smooth scalp under his chin. Lex's breath was soft on his neck and firm long legs tangled into his own.

"So, next fall?" Clark had to ask, he still needed it spelled out.

Clouds shifted in the sky and a new design appeared.

"Whatever you want. You can move in with me. You can live in the dorms." Each word puffed against Clark's throat. "Your call."

"And the story for the press?"

"Again, that's up to you. You're the one who likes to blend in."

Clark wrapped his arms around Lex more tightly. His heart slowed, his fear dissipated. This was still his to decide, Lex didn't want anything in particular. It seemed that Lex just wanted him.

"I don't know what I want to do, yet."

Lex shifted and chuckled, hot air tickling Clark's collarbone. "You don't have to decide right now. You can wait until fall and you can always change your mind."

"What if you change your mind?" There was always that little doubt, that soft core of abandonment that never left his memory.

"Clark." Lex pushed up on his elbows, negligent of grass stains and dirt, and gazed down at him. "I'm very used. No one else would have me. Besides, I don't want anyone else."

Clark loved the grin that spread over Lex's face. Lex was like that -- brighter than the sun.

"So, it will be okay?"

Lex laughed again. "Clark, if you just want things to be 'okay' then I can virtually promise you that things will always be 'okay'. It's 'great' or 'perfect' that I can't supply."

"No. I'm good with 'okay'."

Lex studied his face and then kissed his mouth. "Unless we are going for a reprise of last fall, let's go someplace that has less dirt and more food."

Clark nodded and Lex stood up brushing stray grass from his pants. The wrinkled clothes looked good on him. Clark stood up, too.

Lex kissed him softly and turned to cross the field.

Clark still didn't know what anything meant anymore. He still didn't know how to start the conversation, but that was okay, because it had started and now it looked like it was over.

The light faded, a blush deep in the horizon indicating that it was going to be dark soon. Clark rose and followed Lex across the rose-tinted field, a smile playing on his face.

The sky was open, empty and his to fill. Lex was waiting for him to make up his mind. And Clark would. Soon.

The most important decision was already made. Lex. Lex was a part of him. Lex was forever. It was just the 'how' and that was up to him.

Yeah, so maybe spring had never felt like this, but that was okay. Maybe the cherry blossoms were just blossoms and nothing more. And maybe this could be just be love--and nothing less.